My (un)Happy Marriage: There IS Hope for Your Marriage!

To say that 21st-century marriages need all the help that they can get is perhaps the understatement of the century. There are so many factors and trends, not to mention our selfish inclinations, that work against happy, fulfilled and enduring marriages that it seems like a miracle that such marriages do exist. We need grace, truth, and faith in our marriages. But how? This book does not purport/propose to give a trendy new fool-proof recipe for a happy marriage. A marriage demands a lifelong commitment to work on it – sometimes just a little tweak, but at times some seriously hard work. Indeed, My (Un)happy Marriage contains the true-life stories of couples who experienced disappointment, finding no joy in their marriage. These are stories that every couple can identify with. Not only couples that are struggling in their marriage, but also couples that have a reasonably healthy marriage. These are stories that serve as warnings for those who think that nothing will ever go wrong in their marriage. It is especially valuable for young couples who are embarking on the most difficult relationship in their lives. Here we find some “new” narratives plus the reworked 20-plus that were published in Hoop vir my huwelik (Hope for my marriage – published in 2003), relating the healing after a crisis or after years of strife. Even in the “older” stories some of the couples have experienced enormous challenges since the first publication. As a matter of fact, this book is about encouraging others who are suffering in a wobbly marriage, showing them that they are not the only ones experiencing problems. God shows us how, patiently teaching and enabling us to honour Him in our marriage. In a Christian marriage, it is sometimes disillusioning to find that there is actually a spiritual war being waged against me and my marriage. The enemy will use any weapon available, even fighting dirty by using emotional damage from my past. My husband Brink and I still have to be vigilant in this respect – we would love to think we don’t have any emotional baggage, but these unwanted things tend to pop out at the most inconvenient times. So, we have to be vigilant and mindful of the American motto: “We can’t sell what we ain’t got.” Therefore, Brink and I have to make doubly sure that we hear from the Lord ánd obey Him. My prayer is that this book will help you to focus firstly on obeying God in building your marriage to honour his Name, trusting Him to use this journey to bless not only you as a couple, but also those around you.