Smithers and the Pharaoh's Fig Biscuit

One ancient biscuit. One missing aristocrat. And far too much sand in the wrong places.

When Sir Reginald Marlow-knight, gentleman, and magnet for bizarre disasters-is invited to a gala at the British Museum, he expects nothing more than tepid canapés and awkward small talk with dusty curators. But when his distant cousin, Lord Tuppington-Glubb, vanishes alongside a sacred 3,000-year-old fig biscuit belonging to Pharaoh Nefercustard, Reggie finds himself at the centre of an archaeological absurdity.

Whisked away aboard The Dainty Sphinx, a museum-sponsored cruise to Cairo, Reggie is accompanied by his ever-unflappable valet Smithers, his spiritually enthusiastic Aunt Petunia (now identifying as the "High Priestess of Sticky Dates"), and a suspicious goose with international instincts.

Together, they'll battle rogue archaeologists, cursed pastries, a marmalade magnate, and the mysterious Society of Raisins-all in a race to find the biscuit, prevent an ancient dessert-based prophecy, and avoid being mummified by mistake.

A riotous blend of British farce, mystery, and Middle Eastern mayhem-with extra jam.