Attention, Shoppers (Everyday Terror)

ATTENTION, SHOPPERS: Please hide at the back of the store immediately.

I'm at a Bluemart, on a diaper run with my kids, when I hear the message over the loudspeakers. The other shoppers descend into a panic. And so do I. There was a tornado warning earlier--is it about it hit us?

But as more messages come over the speakers, it seems to be something else entirely. Attention, shoppers: please stay out of sight of security cameras. Attention, shoppers: please hide all food and open wounds.

My husband, kids, and I scramble for a hiding place. But I hear something coming down the aisle, and I can't help thinking-

This is how we die.