At Dark, I Become Loathsome
From Eric LaRocca--Bram Stoker Award-nominated and Splatterpunk Award-winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke--comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.
"If you're reading this, you've likely thought that the world would be a better place without you."
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same--and worse--in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him--it's for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx--a potential candidate for Ashley's next ritual--who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.
230 pages, 9 editions
English edition · First published 2025 by Blackstone Publishing · ISBN 9798212179027
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Ratings and reviews
I read/listened to this twice. The first time it caught my attention until the Tandy character part came up and that whole thing depressed me, so I couldn’t finish it. The second time I gave it a try and really paid attention. It’s is beautifully written. Ashley Lutin is our main character, “mourning” the death of his wife and the kidnapping of his son. Transforming himself into something uniquely grotesque with piercings, other body modifications, His job is conducting “fake death “ rituals to help process his grief, while trying to help other people who are struggling with the will to live or yearning for a better life, kind of like being reborn or seeing life in a different lens. As for himself, Ashley is a self hating widower, who indulged in homosexual activity.. he meets Jinx.. and everything comes to light.. Then there’s the story of A man named Tandy who falls in love with his husbands cancer, I couldn’t handle the first or second time. My Opinion… This was at first hard to follow. But it’s beautifully written. Delves on the Dark side of human curiosity, depression, grief and sexuality. I think what made me upset was the story of Tandy, that was disturbing and hard to read. ( Maybe an actual trigger for me ) and it lost a few star ratings.
Editions
9 editions
English
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Blackstone Publishing · 2025 · ISBN 9798212179027 · 1 reader This page
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Blackstone Publishing · 2026 · ISBN 9798228742482
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Blackstone Publishing, Inc. · 2025 · ISBN 9798200987641
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Blackstone Publishing, Inc. · 2025 · ISBN 9798200987658
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Blackstone Publishing · 2025 · ISBN 9798212179041
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Titan Books · 2025 · ISBN 9781835411643
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Titan Books · 2025 · ISBN 9781835411636
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Titan Books · 2025 · ISBN 9781835411650
Unknown language
- At Dark, I Become Loathsome · Blackstone Publishing · 2025
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