Tuesdays with Rosie

Tuesdays With Rosie is a blog I kept when I was her transportation over a two year period. Rose fought breast cancer for 10 years Her courage was too great to even attempt to write about it. This blog turned into a small book is about the emotions of myself facing grief, the practical aspects of an insidious disease that defies simple description. These are the people too who contributed to Rose's life as she fought the disease. Rose never talked about "poor me",Why? Never accepted that she was not going to beat it. R0sie had this great stream of friends who never accepted it.How could God possibly take out this wonderful person? During the process as we watched Rose grow weaker, another clinicle trial, something else that didn't work. I called on my own experiences of death and dying. I knew lots of the answers and most of the time thay were simply inadequate. I am sure that ievery loved one feeks the same and in our culture we value and prize the individual and Rose's loss was incalculable. Once Rose and I talked about what dying felt like.Rose said to me, tell me some stories. One came to mind that a soldier told me that his wife said to him. No real difference in life and death. It really is, if you are a person of faith, merely a transition. I thought lots about that Idea. I didn't share with Rosie my feeli9ng but even though I am the one telling the story, I don't wan to be imaging a world without her. What makes death so hard often is the idea of separation. The literal lack of presense. You can't call them up, share with them an ideal. F..K. I is hard for me not to surse. I conat know of a single thing that takes care of the disappointment and sadness like a good old, as my niece says, "F..K, double, F..K. Sorry Rosie, I just get too much of myself. Rosie once asked me did I believe in heaven. Yes. We never went further with the explanation. Yes, I do there is somthing about heaven that is comforting to everybody. The idea that this is not the end, that in some mysterious way, we will see them again. The most vocal atheist will glome onto the idea. Do we want to be in a world where Rosie doesn't live. No. It is heavenm, Italk to her, discuss issues. One of our scores of time when we were looking a parking place, we wouldn invaribly find one and say, Rose parking karma. I do it all the time. I didcuss various things with Rose, what do you think aoub the election, I am going to see your Mom, anything else. She is present. I never think it is morbid or anything. I am usre that others do the same. What we hope out of this book is that it will bring encouagement. There's nothing really new. I've read many books of those who have been where basically Rose is. Good and inspiring books and so why do it and what is different. Nothing really, it is a need I have. It has taken me awhile but I knew that at some point I would do it. I want to honor Rose's life and her contribution to mine. God bless us all. Thanks Rosie.