When I Look Back

In "When I Look Back," Marlondos C Fields takes readers on an emotional journey of love, loss, and self-discovery. Fields found love and made a vow to be the best version of himself, honoring both his wife and Jesus Christ. Their love brought him the joy of fatherhood later in life, adding two more children to his family, which already included two older children.

However, the blissful life he envisioned came crashing down when his wife asked for a divorce. This marked the beginning of his deepest defeat and greatest loss, leaving him initially alone and judged by family, friends, and the community for a dream that crumbled despite his deepest desires for forever.

Fields recounts his life of luxury, travel, and pleasures, contrasting with the unexpected collapse of his marriage. The woman he loved transformed into someone unrecognizable, bringing lies, deceit, threats, and fear into their once-happy home. Left to raise two young children alone at first, he later navigates the challenges of co-parenting with his ex.

Feeling helpless as church leadership, police protection, and the legal system failed him, Fields was forced to look up to Jesus, the only help he had. Crying himself to sleep many nights, he found solace in his faith. This journey grew his faith, relationship with Christ, and capacity for forgiveness. When tempted to revert to his old ways of dealing with hurt and pain, he realized his growth and spiritual strength because of his conviction by the Holy Spirit.

"When I Look Back" is a poignant memoir of a man who strives to find redemption and meaning in the ruins of a broken dream.